my god….. the patient has beat his meat into a bloody mangled pulp. irreparably ruined your already small peepee. shredding your meat to the bone like theres a greek restaurant in your pants. sir im afraid your genitals… have been….. obliterated
“Some mice claim that the Sealed Mousehole Mystery best displayed Basil’s genius. I beg to differ. The Case of the Lost Colony was clearly the most extraordinary exploit of this extraordinary detective.” —Basil and the Lost Colony
tbh im so chill especially considering what my life is like. i have every right to go insane and light myself on fire and run around considering my everything but instead im like. yeah okay whatever man peace and love. i like that about myself but it pisses off people who want to hurt me that im sooo autism stare no emotion robomode
my natural state is seen as a challenge to rile up. and i do fight back the second someone lays a hand on me duh. gotta. i go instant ape mode. but when its just screaming in my face who giva shit thats just my life since birth. white noise to me. im talking back unfazed monotone 99% of the time and people absolutely hate it for a reason i dont really understand
basically basically basically a lot of people (white in particular since u refuse to learn the histories of black community organizing) act as though they are speaking intracommunally when they tweet or whatever, which for obvious reasons is not true. like everyone can see that shit. but because they have no concept of the outward-facing nature of their discourse, they will say shit like “there are lesbians that have sex with men” which, if you give it the benefittttt of the doubt and add a bunch of qualifiers, is like okay whatever yeah all attempts to categorize human behavior will fail, and sexuality is fluid, and certain behaviors will always slip through the cracks blablablabla.
but the main statement they are making, “there are lesbians who have sex with men,” is, again, not being spoken across the table at a gay bar, is not being written down in a journal, but is being made in a public online space, meaning it has a potential impact on the outside world. and what lgbt kids of this decade have oh so stupidly forgotten (what we have been able to forget bc of the blessings of our predecessors) is that the shit we put out in the world is not just theoretical, is not just academic, is not just personal, but is strategically designed to make an appeal to and to reckon with mainstream narratives. (the very alliance of “lgbt” is not naturally occuring, of course, though for young people it may seem so. it is, in fact, a tactical alliance.)
SO, if we think for even a moment about mainstream narratives, the sentence “lesbians can have sex with men” does not bring to mind the failure of the social construct, the fluidity of sexuality, the decolonization of sexual roles. it brings to mind, quite obviously, the historically prevalent oppressive role that a heteronormative society, its heterosexual men in particular, has played in “turning out” lesbians, often to the extent of corrective rape. it is myopic to think that fighting for a prioritization of fluid sexuality in conversation is at all more urgent than combatting the still very prescient narrative of lesbian women possessing an innate biological urge for heterosexual sex that can be “unlocked” via certain means.
in our current climate, insisting that lesbians can have sex with men keeps lesbians in danger of homophobic sexual abuse, misogynistic harassment and kidnappings, and all the other historical accoutrements of that narrative. insisting that lesbians do not have sex with men, on the other hand, puts certain members of our community— say, women who identify wholly with lesbianism while still having one particular man they enjoy sex with— at risk of being called “problematic” by gay 20-somethings online.
okay but some lesbians had sex with men.
for some that’s because those people are trans men.
for some that’s because they explored their sexuality.
so how about instead of policing queer people on what they can and can’t say out of fear that some asshole gets violent, we POLICE THE FUCKING ASSHOLES.
Miss Piggy’s Treasury of Art Masterpieces from the Kermitage Collection is a picture book featuring sixteen (minus the “The Birth of Venus” parody) different muppet parodies of famous artwork, edited by Henry Beard and illustrated by John E. Barrett, and published by Holt, Rinehart and Winston in 1984.
A majority of the illustrations were originally from the Miss Piggy’s Art Masterpiece Calendar which were all reprinted with commentary from Miss Piggy herself and new additions that expanded on the “Kermitage Collection” from the calendar.
illustrations continued:
Henri Rousseau. The Sleepy Zootsy.
Rembrant van Rijn. Arisfroggle Contemplating the Bust of a Twerp.
Jan Vermeer. Young Lady Adorning Herself with Pearls (and Why Not?).
